word vomit

Is it too much to ask that when there’s a cute guy interested in someone, that someone be me? Just once. I’m just sayin. 

I feel like my head might explode. I’m so happy, and excited. But also, so nervous. I need this to work. NEED. This is really the last straw. If this doesn’t work, I really am going to move back in June. I can’t take much more of this. 

i love you like you’ll never know. for so many reasons, and none of them mine. 

spent all day being positive that something good was going to happen. instead nothing happened at all. 

So I usually have really vivid dreams. Dreams that seem so real that when I wake up, I’m confused as to which life is real for a split second. and that can be a little unnerving. Last night I had a dream that I was getting married. Sounds awesome, right? Wrong. In this dream, I had planned out every single detail. Sent the invitations, booked the venue, hired the caterer, dj, florist, had a dress, a honeymoon booked, bridesmaids, the whole shebang. But no groom. none. At the end of this dream, I got in a huge dream fight with my dream parents because I refused to name the guy I was marrying. Mostly because there wasn’t one. What I really can’t figure out though, is if there ever was a groom, or if I assumed there would be one by the time the wedding came (there was not), or if I was crazy. Well, I guess I was crazy either way. But still, disturbing none the less. 

call it selfishness, call it what you will. sometimes I want to write about my life in more than 140 characters, and sometimes I want to talk about things that I don’t feel people should have to click “see more” to read about if they so choose. So here is my tumblr. I’m not gonna lie I watched Jule and Julia last night, and it made me whistful for the days of livejournal. Not that I ever deleted my LJ, it’s still there. But I don’t really use it for much anymore. In any case, here it is. Read it, don’t read it, ignore it, call me emo if you must. But I’m still gonna do it.